


From Beach Parties to College Closets

by queerqueens



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, M/M, Summer Vacation, Vacation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2017-01-17
Packaged: 2018-05-31 05:50:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6458437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queerqueens/pseuds/queerqueens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Meeting the perfect man always was difficult. Meeting him on Spring Break in a faraway country was even worse.<br/>In that case, going back home into the closet shouldn't be too much of a problem, right?<br/>When you see him again though, well, then that's a disaster. Welcome to the life of Simon Lewis.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Raphael Santiago let out a content sigh.  
Finally he had some time for himself without anyone annoying him.  
This would be his first real vacation since a few years.  
He ignored the young blonde flight attendant as she clarified the safety precautions with many excessive hand gestures and a fake smile.  
Instead Raphael observed the other passengers. There were a few families, oh how he hoped their children would stay silent and not cause him a headache.  
The man in front of him already angrily demanded for something to drink and the couple who was sitting next to him started to kiss as well as doing other annoying couple stuff.  
He also saw many elders on the plane and sighed, knowing that he would need to buy earplugs, because sadly he was certain that some of them would snore. 

Suddenly his gaze landed on a cute boy who sat a few rows before him.  
He had brown curls and kinda dorky glasses.  
As he was listing to some music, his head moved back and forth while he seemed to be playing some game on his laptop.  
This guy looked as though he was the only somewhat interesting person in this aircraft.  
Before Raphael could check him out some more though, the blonde flight attendant asked him, what he would like to drink with beaming smile, obviously trying to flirt with him.  
Well she chose the wrong guy for that, honestly not being his type at all. The problem was, well she was lacking a cock, unfortunately.  
"A coke,please." Raphael answered coldly not even really looking up.  
"Coming, sweetie." he raised an eyebrow at the term of endearment, "My name is Monica by the way," she winked at him as she moved on.  
He could not help but roll his eyes, the second she turned her back to him.

He decided to watch a movie and the flight seemed to be over seconds later.  
Time surely flies by if you divided it between watching a film and spying on an adorable guy. 

As Raphael sat on the bus, which would bring him to his hotel he was delighted to see that the young man from the plane was also there, causing him to smirk.  
Maybe he could flirt a little bit during this holiday.

The next morning as he took a sip of his coffee, Raphael noticed that his target was looking for a table to eat at.  
However on each table there at least was already one person.  
So his table was one of the few where a seat was available.

As he sat down his cup he suddenly heard a soft voice stammering " May ... may I sit down, please? If it's okay I mean. I don't wa-want to intrude." 

The man of Mexican descend made an inviting hand movement "Just sit down. You block the sun." "Uhm, yeah." mumbled the cute stranger, as he let himself fall on a chair clumsily while almost spilling his orange juice.  
"My name is Lewis, Simon Lewis... I mean." he said trying to distract Raphael from the horrible attempt to sit down quietly.  
"Raphael Santiago."  
"Nice meeting you."  
"I guess it is, mhm? So what does a young man like you here, all alone?"  
"I am... well, I'm just trying to relax a bit before going to college. I mean, my mum and sister wanted to come as well, but then my grandma fell sick and they need to help her a bit. It's nothing terrible though, don't worry. Just a broken arm..." Simon rambled on until he was interrupted by Raphael.  
"How.. interesting.. You should try these scrambled eggs. They are divine." he suggested with a small smirk and held out his spoon for the other to take.  
Blushing a bright red, Simon did as he was told. " You're right, yeah, they taste great." he mumbled, not sure what else to say. He wasn't used to these kind of things.  
"So what have you planned for today?" Raphael asked with a coy grin.  
"Nothing yet, uh, you?" Simon was stammering, wondering if this truly was happening at the moment.  
"I wanted to explore the city a bit, wanna accompany me?" Raphael knew that Simon probably would agree which was why he asked him, since he probably didn't want to be all alone.  
"Why not... I mean I would like to, I think,” answered Simon, unknowingly falling into the more or less trap which Raphael had built for him.  
"Good. Meet me in the entrance hall in two hours." Raphael bade him goodbye for now and left.  
He was going to have a lot of fun with this blushing, adorable stranger.


	2. A first date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raphael and Simon go on their first date. Something big might just happen.

Time flew by and soon there were only five minutes left of the two hours Simon had before meeting up with Raphael.  
He was still getting ready, checking his backpack for a second time now.  
His money was there, same went for his precious camera. Of course, he had promised to show his family and his best friend Clary pictures when he was back.  
Cell phone? Check. Sunblocker? Check.  
But where were his sunglasses? He started to search through his backpack and to his displeasure he couldn't find them.  
Frantically, Simon looked around only to find them on his bedside table right next to his alarm clock. Hurriedly he picked them up and tossed them into his bag.  
Now he only had one minute left until he needed to be in the entrance hall. He most definitely would be late, what a great first impression that would make. Well, second impression, they had met at breakfast after all.

Simon practically ran out his room, nearly knocking down one of the cleaners.  
Blushing brightly, he apologized mortified - "I am so so sorry... " - ,before he darted to the elevator.

Sometimes those horrible machines just took too long to get you to your destination; it truly felt like eternity to Simon.  
He tapped his foot impatiently, checking his watch.  
He already was two minutes late. What would the handsome stranger think of him?  
Fortunately only thirty later, the lift stopped and he stepped into the entrance hall.

The young man began to search for Raphael, finding him leaning against a wall, next to the bar, drinking an espresso.  
He walked over to him in a haste, embarrassed by his tardiness.  
As soon as the other man saw him, Raphael smiled at him.  
Simon immediately blushed a bit, excusing his lateness, though Raphael didn't seem to mind.  
"No problem, at least you took long enough for me to drink my espresso. You can pay by the way if it makes you feel better." the man laughed.  
"Of-of course I will pa-pay." Simon stuttered his reply.  
Raphael looked quite surprised for a few seconds before he put his hand on Simon's shoulder and explained, amused "That was a joke, I already paid. Lighten up a bit." Raphael winked and let his fingers linger a little moment longer before he announced "Let's go!"

Simon managed to nod, feeling a bit lightheaded due to the touch.  
He couldn't help but admit that he liked the feeling of those hands against him.

As they stepped outside, Raphael put on his sunglasses and began walking in the direction of small town's historic center.  
Simon had a bit trouble keeping up with Raphael's fast and long strides.  
The older man soon noticed, taking Simon's hand into his larger one almost immediately.  
"Can't loose you in a crowded place like this one, right?" he said with a smirk.  
Simon didn't even want to protest; his hand felt good in Raphael's and despite of how cheesy it sounded, they were quite soft.

They had spent the whole day together with Raphael explaining the city's unique history while pointing out the most popular sights to the younger man, whenever they passed them.  
"How about some ice and a nice coffee, Simon?" Raphael asked having spotted an ice cream parlor close to them.

"Sounds great!” Simon grinned, “I just quickly need to use the bathroom."

They chose a small table with a nice view on the fountain which stood on the town square.  
"I could order for us already, while you use the restroom?" Raphael asked, looking sheepishly at his date, " What would you like to have?"  
Feeling a bit brave Simon replied in a simple statement.  
"Surprise me." he said, before leaving in a fast pace. 

By the time he got back, there already were two coffees waiting for them.  
"What did you order?" Simon watched the older man curiously.  
"I thought you wanted a surprise?" came back the retort.  
"Uhm, Yeah right. I trust you here, then."  
"You can always trust me." Raphael promised, taking Simon's hand, caressing it lightly for a few seconds.  
"Is he flirting with me? But why would someone like him, flirt with me?" ,Simon asked himself, though before he could react to the gentle touch, their waiter arrived, placing a big fruity sundae onto their table.  
"The tropical couple special for you two lovebirds." the waiter said with a wink, before once more leaving them alone.  
"Uh.. You.. You.. took a couple special?" Simon asked, feeling himself blush one of too many times more today.  
"It costs less and it looked delicious,” Raphael replied, raising one of his perfect eyebrows, “Do you have a problem with it?"  
Simon couldn't help but feel a little disappointed at the reasoning, not that he wanted to be with Raphael, what, never! "No, I mean great idea." he mumbled quietly, looking at the ice cream.

They ate in silence for a while before, just like in the morning, Simon had a spoon dangling in front of his face.  
"Come on, try this, quickly, before I eat all of it. It tastes absolutely fantastic,."  
Not really having another option, Simon let himself be fed by Raphael for the second time today and again, he was blushing like a idiot. " Ye-yeah you are right, it tastes amazing." he muttered and not really minding or even thinking about them not really being a couple or even friends, the two men soon started feeding each other. 

Simon was easily distracted by how sexy Raphael looked whenever he wrapped his plumb, pink lips around the spoon.  
Slowly it was dawning on him that he might have a tiny crush on the Mexican.  
To his utter surprise he was not even freaked out, despite the fact that he was straight.  
Well everybody got a gay thing, right? And they were on vacation so it wasn't as if they'd see each other again.  
Above all that, Raphael certainly would not feel the same way. So why worry and freak out.

After they finished they split the bill and walked over to the fountain.  
Raphael told him about the legend of a couple who married there against all odds. It was said, that whoever kissed their partner next to this magical fountain, would be happy together with them, forever though Simon didn't really find himself capable to listen.  
He was concentrating on Raphael's hands which moved rapidly while talking, on how beautiful his his voice sounded, talking about such precious subjects.  
Before he was able to register what he was doing, Simon lips were pressed against Raphael's, his hands holding onto his shirt tightly, as his skin started to tingle, butterflies rumbling in his stomach.

As soon as he realized what he was doing though, Simon immediately stepped away, panicked, his cheeks blushing red with shame.  
"I-I am so so sorry... I shouldn't, I mean, I really shouldn't have.. Look, if you don't want to see me again I... I understand.. I mean..."  
The young man was interrupted gracefully by Raphael who had pulled him towards him, their lips once more fitting together.  
This was different than the kiss before. Raphael clearly knew what he was doing, his fingers tangling in Simon's hair, drawing out a quiet whine from the nerdy boy.  
His other hand explored the male's surprisingly broad back, sliding lower until it finally landed on his ass, Raphael pulling him even closer, needing to feel him against him.  
His tongue slid over Simon's bottom lip,begging for entrance, which he allowed eagerly with a rewarding moan.  
They kissed passionately, only pulling away from each other when they were out of air.  
"I guess we all need a little holiday fling, right?" Raphael thought himself before surging forward, once more claiming Simon's lips as his.


	3. The Raphael-Induced Daze

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raphael and Simon actually just wanted to spend a day on the beach. Nothing really goes as planned. There's lots of kissing though so neither of them really minds.

"Kiss me again." Simon whispered, his voice husky.  
"You mean like this?" Raphael smashed their lips together, pressing him up against the door of his hotel room.

Today they had wanted to go to the beach, but since Simon forgot his towel they had to turn back and retrieve it. It didn't take them long to end up like this.

"We-we...should be go-going..." Simon's finger ran through messy dark hair, his bottom lip caught between Raphael's teeth. He could feel strong hands roaming over his body, melting into the beautiful touch.  
He gasped as he felt those lips he had wanted for so long.  
They were on his neck, trailing kisses all over it before Raphael decided to drive him crazy, nipping at his sensitive skin. 

“You want to go? I thought you wanted me to kiss you again?" Raphael chuckled, his lips running back up his neck, voice laced with want, his teeth nipping on his earlobe.  
Simon felt his knees quiver, fearing he'd collapse from the sheer pleasure Raphael gave him, from the way his words made him crave him. 

"I-I don't know..." he whispered, clutching onto the gorgeous Mexican.  
"Maybe I can help you with that decision, baby." Raphael smirked.  
Simon felt soft fingers sliding down his body, causing him to whimper, the sound swallowed by plumb lips, which were pressed against his own in another passionate kiss.   
He tugged on Raphael's hair, hips bucking forward to meet him as he felt something unzipping his shorts.  
“O-Okay.. We could...” he was panting, “we could always.. stay.. here.” he pressed himself closer to the male, wanting to feel him properly.  
Instead of giving him what he needed though, Raphael pulled away completely, seemingly unaffected if it weren't for the deep breaths he was taking.  
“On a second thought, you were really keen on leaving.” he shrugged, smirking.

Simon let out a quiet whine "You're such a tease..."  
"A tease who you'll need to put sunscreen on later, baby." Raphael said, winking as he grabbed onto Simon, taking their bag as well.

They walked to the beach, hand in hand.  
Fortunately they found two sun loungers near the water as well as the bar.  
They pushed them together and dumped their bag onto the ground. 

As Simon searched the bag for his sunglasses and the sunscreen, Raphael already took of his shirt. Simon couldn't help but stare at the man's chest, almost dropping the lotion in the process.

"Simon, baby, I know I look great, but how about less staring and more applying sunscreen to my body?" The older man teased, pulling Simon towards him.  
He placed a small kiss to the unresponsive man's cheek, before he put his sunglasses on and turned his back to his lover.  
Slowly, Simon poured a bit of the lotion on his hand and started to rub it all over Raphael's gorgeous back. 

He was amazed by how soft and strong the dark skin felt underneath him.  
Simon tried to be careful, loving even.  
"Now it's your turn, Si. Loose your shirt would you, babe? Let me see what you're hiding." 

Simon blushed but followed the request, immediately turning his back to him, embarrassed.   
Before he could comprehend it properly, Raphael's lips ran over his neck, peppering gentle kisses to his skin, sliding lower until they reached his mid-back.  
No able to hold in the whimper which fell from his lips, he gasped, pulling away before he could really enjoy the sensation. He felt the cold sunscreen on his skin, ears filled with Raphael's heavenly laugh.  
He leant back into Raphael's hands as they roamed over his back, leaving his skin warm and tingly everywhere they made with contact with. 

The second in which his lover's hands left him, Simon missed the touch.  
Pouting, he applied the rest of the sunscreen to his body,watching Raphael fascinated as the other man did the same. 

"How about we get something to drink, baby? It'll take a few moments before we can go into the water,” Raphael pulled him out of his thoughts with an amused smile playing around his lips as Simon nodded, quickly staggering to his feet with a blush forming on his cheeks.

A young woman stood behind the counter of the bar. She was maybe a few years younger than the two men, her dark hair flowing in beautiful curls.  
“What can I get you?” she asked, her eyes trained on Simon, ignoring Raphael completely.  
The Mexican frowned, rolling his eyes at the way she leant over quite a bit more than she needed to, showing off her assets.

"I'll take a coke, you want one too, babe?" Raphael replied with a smirk, feeling satisfaction at the way her smile froze, flirty expression replaced by shock. What he enjoyed even more than that though, was the way Simon's cheeks once more flushed a deep red, while he seemed to slightly hide himself behind Raphael.

After they've been handed their drinks wordlessly, Raphael did make a show out of showing that woman who Simon belonged to.  
He captured his lips between taking sips of the cold beverage, his hand placed just beneath the end of Simon's shorts, rubbing the soft skin. When he saw his lover's eyes closing, his lips parted in a content sigh, Raphael shot a winning smile to the woman who had dared to flirt with his gorgeous man.  
Simon didn’t really understand what was happening at that moment though he couldn't care less, loving the attention he was given, the way those lips and fingers felt against him.

As they got up to make their way back to the loungers, Raphael pulled Simon flush against his body, lips pressed against his ear.  
"You are mine." he growled softly, Simon's breath hitching, legs once more threatening to give out underneath him. How could a single person make him feel like this, only with their voice?

"W-What?" he asked softly, dazed. Raphael had this effect on him. He just couldn't stop the way his heart was racing with him so close, close enough for his brain to shut down completely, all rational thought banned from it.  
"That woman flirted with you, idiota. Didn’t you notice how she looked at you?" Raphael once more growled, lips ghosting over his jaw, slightly stunned that Simon actually hadn't realized what had happened.  
If he was honest, he was too busy staring at Raphael most of the time to actually see their surroundings for what they were.  
"It doesn't matter though, babe. You are mine." Raphael whispered against his neck, biting down on the soft skin, causing Simon to let out a moan.  
He was clinging to Raphael, eyes blown with lust. Nobody had ever claimed him like this and while it might seem too possessive to some, Simon couldn't help but want the man with every fiber of his being.

Slipping out of his Raphael induced daze, the taller man remembered what happened before, in the hotel room.  
“Only if you can catch me.” he exclaimed with a grin, turning around and running towards the water.  
"Dios mío!" Raphael shook his head with a sigh, though there was a small grin gracing his lips as he followed. 

Simon didn’t make it easy for Raphael to catch him, splashing him and trying to distract him so that he could get away. Still, it didn’t take longer than fifteen minutes to pull Simon into his arms, the younger immediately placing his own around his neck, threading his fingers through Raphael's hair which was starting to curl due to the water.   
Before Simon was able to point out that he liked the way his hair looked like this, all natural, his worlds and thoughts were stilled by those skillful lips.  
The kiss was different than before, more passionate, though also soft, gentle. As if Raphael wanted to tell him something important. Simon banned that thought from his mind, simply melting into the kiss as Raphael's tongue pried his lips open, tangling into Simon's. He tightened his grip in the Mexican's hair, tugging on the short strands. His moans were muffled in the kiss and his body pressed as close to Raphael's as humanly possible.  
Pulling away since they needed to breath eventually, Simon could only nod, once more caught in a daze as he felt Raphael's hot breath against his ear. "How about we go to your room? I want to finish what we've just started.”


	4. Bittersweet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon and Raphael spend their last evening in the hotel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's going to be explicit stuff in the end, you have been warned!

Simon felt soft lips kissing his ear, sucking on his earlobe. There were teeth, nipping on the skin of his throat, his lover's breath tingling on his neck as it seemed to engulf him completely.

"Wake up, cariño.", a strong hand searched for his', "or do I need to make you?" Raphael teased as his lips left his throat traveling up to his cheeks, following the curve of it before he ran his tongue over Simon's plumb lips, begging for entrance.   
Moaning in bliss, the younger man allowed him inside, tangling their tongues together as his fingers slid down to his lover's ass.  
"No can do, baby, dinner reservations are waiting for us." Raphael pulled away with a last quick kiss to his nose, winking at him.  
"And here I thought you would be my dinner, Raph." Simon flirted back sitting up as well.   
"Maybe later. But right now I am hungry for something different." Raphael chuckled, walking over to the bathroom, his hips swinging as he felt his lover's heavy gaze on his backside.

"Do you want another beer, sir?"  
" Yes, please." Simon answered their waiter before getting interrupted, "Already getting drunk before the beach-party?" Raphael teased him, causing the young man to roll his eyes, a habit he definitely had copied from said man.  
"It's only my second beer, Raph.", Simon pouted, knowing exactly how kissable it made him look, he'd been told more than once during this holiday.  
This time though, it didn't seem to spike a reaction. "Come on, you know you're a lightweight, Lewis."  
"How would you happen to know that, Mr. Santiago?"   
"Well, you do remember the lovely evening we had three days ago?"  
"How could I forget that? That pub in the little village? I had a great time!”  
Raphael laughed. “Oh, I know, I made sure of that, don't you think?”  
Simon grinned, nodding "Yeah, the night was interesting."  
"Afterwards, you fell asleep in the taxi and snored like the idiot you are." Raphael retorted almost immediately, a bright blush settling on Simon's tanned cheeks, "I guess that wasn't my most flattering moment?" he asked with a hesitant shrug, trying to remember what happened later on, though his thoughts were redundant as Raphael continued, "Well, everything was fine until the taxidriver needed to help me get you out of his cab so that I could drag your drunk, heavy ass to your room."  
"Yeah, sorry for that,” he tried to apologize though once more was interrupted by Raphael, "you snored all night. I wasn't able to sleep properly.”  
Simon shot him a cheeky smirk. “What? Was I disturbing your beauty sleep, not that you need any, of course."  
Raphael held back a chuckle as he replied flirtatiously "You flatter me, baby. Want some of my dessert in a showing of my gratitude?"  
"Feeding me seems to have become a habit of yours." Simon laughed.  
"Someone needs to make sure that you eat enough, tiny. Now open up."   
Simon did as he was told, practically looking like a baby animal, waiting for his mother to feed him.

"Oh, that tastes like heaven." Simon moaned as his lips slipped from the spoon, Raphael's eyes focused on the movement as he answered "Now how about a kiss as a thank you?"  
"What do people always say? One good deed a day?" Simon teased though leant over the table, pressing his lips against his lover's soft ones, tingles spreading through his whole body.  
"Mhm, you taste like chocolate, baby." he looked into Raphael's eyes as they pulled apart, their gazing only interrupted when they heard a distant voice: "Your, uh... Your drink, Sir. Sorry to, uh, interrupt." their waiter mumbled, all flustered. 

Raphael frowned as he watched the interaction, though Simon simply answered with a soft smile "Don't worry about it, thank you"  
The waiter was glad when he was able to leave them, quickly hurrying back into the kitchen.  
"What a nuisance, disturbing our last dinner together,” Simon shook his head at the other man's words, a sigh leaving his lips, "Raph, it's his job. Also, we still have the party."  
Raphael nodded, "They better play good music. I need something to dance to."  
"You want to dance?", came the surprised reply.  
"Well, you should know I am a excellent dancer."  
Simon let out a chuckle, "Yeah, well, you'll certainly be better than I am, but really? A dancer?"  
"Latin and hip-hop if you need to know." Raphael shrugged, lips forming a small smirk.  
"Then you can show me when we get there." Simon challenged, wanting to see if this already far too sexy man could become even more attractive.  
"Only if you dance with me.", Raphael retorted, causing Simon to shake his head, "Me? Dancing? That's a joke, right?"  
"Do you see me laughing, baby?"  
"It would be a disaster!", Simon exclaimed.  
"Oh, I'll get you to dance. Just wait and see."  
"Then eat up or you'll never be able to try and accomplish that goal. Not that it'll work. I don't dance."

After they finished their food, Simon suggested that they should go to the bar already, so that they would be able to start the night a bit slower.  
"You want to drink more than two beers then, Si?" Raphael teased, pointing to the now empty beer-glass.   
"Well, at least one more won't hurt, especially if you want me to dance, Raph."  
"Okay, okay, vamos." Raphael chuckled as he grabbed the younger man's hand. 

They walked to the bar, their fingers entwined. People were dancing, some were drinking or just talking.  
The whole beach was drowned in chains of light, bright decorations adorning the palm trees.

"I'll have a beer, please.", Simon ordered though the bartender didn't really seem particularly interested in looking at him, his eyes focused on Raphael. “How about you? What can I get you, sexy?" he flirted, his eyes roaming over the Mexican’s body.   
"I'll have the same as my boyfriend." said man answered, placing a kiss to Simon's cheek.  
The bartender pouted at those words though he got the memo and quietly started on getting them their drinks.  
"So, may I order a kiss from my boyfriend?", Simon asked slyly, hoping to disguise the way his heart was racing in his chest.  
Raphael rolled his eyes, "Just kiss me already, would you?" he demanded and not even a second later, Simon's fingers slipped to the back of his neck, pulling him into a mind blowing kiss.

As they pulled away, Raphael chuckled quietly. “This song is one of my favourites. Simon, come on now, dance with me."  
Simon though shook his head. "Like I said dancing isn't my metier."  
"You scared, Lewis?"  
"You wish, Santiago. I am not scared of anything." he bit back.  
"Anything? Mhm, I sense a lie there. You know, there was that one incident? The one with the spider?"  
Simon looked away, blushing brightly. "That was one time! At least let me finish my beer.” he sighed, nipping on his bottom lip, before adding, “you could always show me your moves first."  
Raphael stood, smirking. “I'll be waiting for you. Don't take your eyes of me.”

Simon stared at his lover, hypnotized by his every movement.  
Raphael's hips swayed to the beat, his face holding an expression of bliss. Simon couldn't help but think of him as a god, untouchable and burning those around him who tried. He had opened his first two shirt buttons, smooth skin showing in the colourful lights, making Simon want to run his fingers all over him.  
The song ended and Raphael waved Simon over to him,though the nerd shook his head, taking a sip from his drink. 

Raphael looked displeased for a moment but continued to dance as soon as the next song started. His fingers slid downwards over his body, hips rolling up in a seducing manner that made sure Simon had a growing problem. Raphael's sultry eyes were fixed on him, intently staring through his soul.  
The picture was ruined when an attractive man started dancing with the Latino, jealousy instantly bubbling up in him, searching it's way through his veins.  
Without thinking, he marched towards Raphael and this stranger, tipping the unknown man on the shoulder. "Would you mind, letting me dance with my boyfriend?" he all but hissed at the dancer, who threw his hands up in a silent apology, before leaving without another word.  
Raphael smirked " See, i knew you'd come to dance with me." he whispered, fingertips slowly sliding up Simon's shirt in a slow seduction.  
"Yeah, but there is still time to leave the dance floor." Simon mumbled, not really able to get most of the words out coherently.  
"You wish, Baby." Raphael grabbed the front of Simon's shirt, pulling him up against his body.  
His hips rolled up against Simon's, fingers threading through the man's dark curls as his lips ran up his throat, relishing in the soft moans and whimpers which were falling from the nerd's lips.

"Dance honey, dance and you might get more." Raphael whispered into Simon's ear, voice rasped.  
Shivers ran down Simon's spine as their bodies moved against each other.  
Raphael knew what he was doing. He was showing off his dancing skills and it was driving Simon insane.  
There were hands sliding up his body, beneath his shirt, cold hands meeting hot skin.  
Raphael's lips were on his neck, tasting the delicious flesh, leaving marks which wouldn't fade anytime soon. Simon couldn't bring himself to mind, wanting to show people that Raphael was his, even if that wasn't going to be the case anymore, after this night.   
"Let's go somewhere quiet, shall we, baby ?" he suddenly was ripped from his incoherent thoughts, nodding "Yes, yes please."

Raphael walked towards the water, gracefully, "How about we take a lovely walk on the beach to gain you my, let's say favor, for this last night?" he asked him with a smirk, causing Simon to whine quietly, "Do you always need to be such a tease, Raph?"  
"Why shouldn't I be?" the Latino asked, chuckling as his eyes made out the beautiful lines of the other man's body.  
"Just to make it easy for once?" Simon suggested though there was amusement lacing the words.  
"Well, where would be the fun in that?" Raphael laughed, eyes holding a challenging spark.  
"In not sleeping alone, maybe?" Simon bit back with a small laugh though Raphael feigned ignorance, "Well at least nobody will be snoring then." he said as started walking away, "Coming?"

After a while they sat down, watched the stars.  
They talked about the time they had spent together, both feeling a pang of sorrow washing over them. This was the last time they'd see each other, the last night they could spend together in Simon's messy room which Raphael had frequented more than his own.  
Desperate to get those thoughts from his head, Simon reached over, his fingers tangling in Raphael's hair as their lips crashed together forcefully, bodies pressed close to one another.  
They didn't want this to be over, both knowing that they would never be able to forget the time they had. This was special.

The moonlight was falling upon them, as their kiss grew more passionate, Simon having slipped onto Raphael's lap.  
"Have I gained your favor already?" he asked, breathlessly, forcing himself to pull away even just slightly.  
“Kiss me again and you most certainly have." replied Raphael breathlessly, wasting no time in doing exactly that, needing to continue tasting the man who made him feel complete in a way he's never felt it before, “Let's take this back to our room, sand can be a bitch in the ass." he added in a quiet whisper, both ignoring the rush which referring to the room as theirs gave them.  
"Yeah, that would be inconvenient." Simon mumbled, biting his lip as he was pulled up by Raphael, immediately ending up all pressed up against him once more.

 

Simon pushed Raphael against the door of his room.  
"Card... in ... my... left pocket... my jeans." he moaned while he kissing the smaller man who reached over to get the item.  
"Got it... now open the bloody door."

The two of them crashed down onto the bed, their bodies clinging to another.  
"You're wearing way to much, baby." Raphael whispered, sliding his fingers under the other man's shirt.  
"Shall I strip for you?" Simon teased, a small laugh falling from his lips.   
"That's an idea, cariño." the answer caused him to blush profusely, “Raph, you pervert!"  
The Latino only smirked, "Maybe you just need some help then?" he asked and with one swift movement Simon's shirt was on the floor, already forgotten by them.   
Raphael's lips started on his collar, pressing open mouthed kisses to his sensitive skin, drawing out moans from Simon. He knew exactly where to tease him, knew what made him feel good, what drove him insane.  
His tongue ran over began Simon's right nipple, teasing the small stud, groans falling from Simon's lips as the nerd clasped his hands into Raphael's hair and pushing his head downwards.  
“Raph, please.. I need you..” he whispered breathlessly, hips rolling up in a desperate attempt on friction.  
"Someone is really eager to see me." Raphael chuckled, his voice husky with want, “Aren't you an eager little boy. I'll make sure you'll get what you want.” he whispered against his ear, fingers sliding over his chest, to the waistband of his jeans, undoing it slowly, teasingly.  
The whimper that left Simon's gorgeous lips was music to him.  
Raphael quickly got rid of Simon's jeans, throwing them aside without a care. They wouldn't need them tonight.  
The Latino slowly dragged his body over Simon's, every bit of them touching. Their lips caught in a lazy kiss, sloppy and sensual.  
Raphael's fingers were skating over the other man's skin, following the curve of his body until they reached where they both had wanted them all night.  
He ran his index finger over the length of Simon's cock, tracing it with bliss as he watched Simon's hips quivering beneath his touch.  
“Ra- Raphael..” the sound did wonders for Raphael, his breath shortening as his eyes took in the sight of Simon Lewis, completely at his mercy.  
Pulling away from his lips, the Latino watched as Simon tried to follow them with a quiet whine, his eyes half lidden, lips still parted.  
It was the most beautiful picture he's ever seen.   
With a soft smile, he lowered himself, lips brushing down his chest before he settled between Simon's legs. He started at his thighs, kissing and nipping the inside of them, sucking on the sensitive skin. He watched as marks formed on the tanned skin.  
Raphael could feel his breathing skip a beat when finger's tangled in his hair, tugging on the short strands.  
Finally, he reached the part of Simon's body that needed most of his attention, a smirk forming on his lips as his eyes locked with his lover's while he used his teeth to slowly peel off the last item of cloth which separated him from his prize that night.  
While he was pulling the disruptive cloth down, Simon raised his hips impatiently, a huff of relief coming from above Raphael, the second he heard it hitting the ground.  
“You are gorgeous, Simon.” Raphael mumbled, watching as Simon looked down at him, hair clinging to his forehead and pupils blown with lust. A faint blush covered his cheeks as he gently pushed his fingers through the Latino's hair, wanting to show him how much he appreciated him.

With a last gaze and a far too gentle smile, Raphael lowered himself once more, a smirk slipping into his expression as his tongue darted out, circling the head of Simon's cock, drawing out a loud gasp.  
Raphael let out a quiet chuckle, tongue following the length of it before his plumb lips wrapped around the tip, his tongue swirling around it.  
He used one of his hands to pump him while doing so, feeling himself reacting even more to the way Simon was moaning his name in bliss, "Don't stop.... Raph... please."

He didn’t stop, instead taking him in even deeper, wanting to make Simon feel good, knowing exactly how to do so. He was experienced, his movements precise and they all made Simon lose his mind, his fingers tightening in Raphael's hair, precome already pouring from him, the droplets being lapped up eagerly by the Latino.  
All of a sudden, he felt Simon pressing him away, immediately following the movement.  
“Stop..” he panted softly “Or I'll..” Raphael smiled fondly, “I definitely wouldn't mind, cariño, you're delicious.” he winked at him, "You can be my dessert, baby."  
Simon blushed brightly, sitting up as he wrapped his arms around Raphael's neck.   
“You're wearing far too many clothes..” he whispered, pulling on the fabric, wanting to get it off, “You.. You know, m-maybe you could... thank me with, uh, stri-..stripping yourself?" Simon asked almost shyly, panting heavily.

Raphael was surprised to say the least though he couldn't help but be intrigued "Are you sure, you could handle that?" he asked, watching as Simon nodded, determination mixing into the lust which was clear in his eyes, "I am very capable."

"What will I get I return?", he asked teasingly, honestly not expecting a treat. He knew that he would love this just as much as Simon would.  
"How about me?" Simon whispered shyly before he caught his lips in a demanding kiss, disguising how unsure he was about those words, “I want you, Raphael.” he whispered, “I want you to be my.. To be my first..” he whispered, looking away, a faint blush on his cheeks.  
Raphael couldn't stop himself from moaning at the thought of taking Simon, of being the first to ever do so. He couldn't help but wish to be the last as well, to be the only one but that wasn't possible so he stored the thought away, “I want you too, Simon” he whispered, fingers sliding down his back to the curve of his behind.  
" You really like my ass, don’t you?" Simon asked teasingly, smiling down at him.  
"Well, you do have a cute butt." Raphael retorted with a wink, placing a last kiss to his lips before pulling away from him.  
He started to strip, rolling his hips against the bedpost just like he had against him while they were dancing. His long fingers were working on the buttons of his shirt, slowly, teasingly revealing more skin with each one, Simon's eyes mesmerized by the whole sight. He just couldn't tear his eyes away.  
When Raphael lost his final piece of clothing, he crawled over to Simon.  
Their lips met in a passionate kiss as their bodies rubbed against each other in obvious need. 

Raphael's hand was searching for the lube he usually carried around with his things though Simon shook his head “Nightstand.” he moaned quietly and the Latino reached for it, not even finding the will to tease him about keeping lube there. Who didn't, after all?  
"Dios, I want you, baby.", he whispered, coating his fingers in the lube, “Are you sure?” he asked one more time, eyes boring into Simon's hazel ones, “This will be uncomfortable at first and it hurts a bit if you don't relax..” he mumbled.  
Simon chuckled breathlessly, “Just put it in Raph, what do you think I've been doing with the lube?” he asked him, biting his bottom lip. When the Latino still seemed unsure if he'd be hurting his lover, Simon smiled at him, fondly. "Raphael, please I need you.", he whispered and that did it for them. He slowly pushed in the first finger, pausing to make sure that Simon could adjust.  
“Can I move? Is this alright?” Raphael asked him softly, gasping when instead of answering, Simon rolled his hips, taking more of him in.  
“Raph... Please..” he groaned, rolling his hips clumsily and without any rhythm.  
Raphael moaned, his cock twitching at the sight. He quickly started to move his fingers in a rhythm, watching as Simon's body succumbed to the pleasure, moving in time with him.  
“More..” Simon moaned breathlessly, throwing his head back when Raphael entered the second finger, even the third didn't seem much of a problem to him.  
Raphael wondered just how well the other man put his lube to use, a small moan falling from his lips at the thought.  
“I need you.. Raph... Fuck.. Please..” he suddenly heard his lover. Nodding, he pulled out his fingers, loving the whimper Simon made at the loss of something filling him up.  
Simon scrambled to his knees, swaying for a second since his legs were still weak from all the pleasure he received.  
“Here..” he whispered breathlessly, “let me.”   
Simon took out a condom, putting it on before also taking the lube from the nightstand, warming it in his hands before rubbing it all over Raphael's cock, biting his lip at the sight of Raphael's hips thrusting towards him, quiet groans falling from his lips.  
Having seen people in porn do this, Simon slowly positioned himself so that he could lower himself onto Raphael, who gently caught his wrist before he could start.  
“Are you sure?” he asked for the second time that day, his hand coming up to gently caress his cheek. “Crazy as it seems, I couldn't bear to hurt you..” he mumbled with a huff.  
Simon smiled down at him, fondly. “I know, me neither.” he whispered, placing a loving kiss to his lips. “I want this. I want you, Raphael.” he whispered and this time, the Latino didn't stop him when he slowly slid down, gasping as he teared up in pain and pleasure.  
Raphael was still cupping his cheek, wiping away his tears. “Relax.. You have to relax, amante.” he whispered, mumbling a string of Spanish words, so soft, they almost made Simon think that they could last.  
“You can move..” he whispered, looking at Raphael, his gaze holding raw emotions. He wasn't able to hide anymore, a cry falling from his lips as the Latino pushed him down into the sheets, starting to move slowly. Everything was gentle, his hands, the pace, even the way Raphael looked at him and it was painful. He couldn't bear this softness, this... this loving touches while knowing that they could never be, because even if he did know where Raphael lived and even if they did live close, this wasn't possible. He couldn't, wasn't... Except, he was.  
“More.. Faster..” he whispered, arms wrapping around his neck for a second. He needed this to be messy, to be hard, more rough. He wanted to lose himself to the feeling, to the pleasure and Raphael complied, pushing harder, burying himself deeper into him with each thrust, trying to find the one spot which would give him ultimate pleasure.  
Simon honestly didn't care if he never found it, this, right now, felt better than anything he's ever felt before. He wanted it to last forever, didn't want to have to stop. Why hadn't they done this before?  
His hips were snapping irregularly, moans and whimpers leaving his lips. He had no control, everything happened on its own and he loved it.  
He never wanted to start functioning again, wanted to stay in this state of mind forever, stay with Raphael forever.  
Together they moaned and cried in ecstasy, exploring each others bodies while Raphael plunged himself deeper and deeper into Simon, their movements becoming less coordinated with each thrust he made. They both were close, could feel it though they didn't want it. They wanted to continue this feeling, this night.   
“Raphael!” Simon called out after a hard thrust, vision blurring as he couldn't take it anymore, finally letting himself go, Raphael following after a few more thrusts,a groan of “Simon..” leaving his lips as they collapsed onto one another.  
They were panting, holding onto each other, Simon letting out a small whimper when Raphael pulled out of him, using his shirt to clean them up. He couldn't care less that it was ruined now.  
Simon looked at the other man, before carefully capturing his lips in a gentle kiss, tongues twining lazily before he let his head fall onto Raphael's chest, falling asleep almost immediately, the Latino following only seconds after.  
They both knew that while tonight was sweet, tomorrow would be bitter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, we're back :D  
> We hope you liked it! Sorry if the smut wasn't as good as it could have been, it's our first time actually writing smut but we hope that it's still alright .-.


	5. Saying goodbye

Simon felt a warm body next to him. His head was laying on his boyfriend's muscled chest and he could hear Raphael's steady heartbeat.  
The sound was comforting especially since he knew that the both of them would travel home today.  
This was their last day together.  
After this morning, they'd never see each other again, never even speak again.  
He wouldn't be able to just touch Raphael whenever he wanted and he already missed it.  
He knew that he would miss the kisses, feeling alive whenever those soft lips met his own.  
Tomorrow he couldn't wake up to Raphael's beautiful voice which was laced with that gorgeous accent that made his heart flutter.   
Simon pressed himself against the smaller frame next to him, wrapping his arms around Raphael a little bit tighter than before.  
Closing his eyes again, he wanted to enjoy the last time they would wake up next to each other.  
Slowly he drifted back to sleep, dreaming of the person next to him.

When he woke up once more, Raphael was already awake. He was staring at the ceiling, clearly in thoughts while drawing little circles and other pattern onto Simon's arm.  
"I like the sound of your heartbeat." the younger mumbled sleepily.  
"Finally awake, baby?" Raphael teased him, chuckling at the reply he got:  
"Mhm... but I don't want to move."

"Not even to kiss me?" he continued, watching with a smirk as his boyfriend pouted,  
"Jerk."   
"So, no kiss?"   
"I never said that."  
Instead of answering Raphael captured Simon's soft lips with his own.  
"I'll miss your lips, Raph..." Simon mumbled all of a sudden, looking at him with a sad smile.

"They are right here, baby. You only need to kiss me again." Raphael mumbled, trying to avoid the topic, though Simon wasn't about to stop.

"Actually I will miss everything about you. Your lips. Your eyes and how they look at me. Your voice especially when you call me Baby. Your touches, they way you move. I'll miss our talks, you know? Just us. I'll miss us."

Raphael did not interrupt the other man. He ran his fingers through his hair with one hand and sighed. He knew that it was true as well as inevitable. Going back home was something they couldn't change.

Simon's smile wouldn't brighten his day anymore. He wouldn't hear him rambling again, which he became rather fond of. After all it was quite cute and endearing, not that he would ever admit it.   
Simon evoked feelings in him, that no one has in a long time. Sure he has had short flings and one-night stands, more of the latter ones actually, but he cared for Simon. He truly cared for him which was scary as well as new.  
He wanted to make Simon laugh, kind of wanted to be the reason for the nerd's happiness.

Raphael knew that he would at least try to keep this rambling ball of sunshine in his life.

The both of them were laying in bed together, legs tangled up as they spend the next few hours cuddling and exchanging kisses, neither of them daring to ruin this last moment.  
They wanted to remember it all, taking each other in, memorizing the feelings they've had all these weeks.

Slowly Raphael dared to speak up "It doesn't have to end." he muttered, words almost too quiet to understand.  
Simon looked at him confused. He didn't know what the other man meant, waiting for him to explain: "We could do long-distance, you know."

"Raph, that wouldn't work." Simon huffed, shaking his head as he rolled onto his back.

"I've done it before, it works just as much as any other relationship as long as we trust each other and I do trust you." Raphael tried to convince him though Simon simply didn't agree.

"Raphael, no. I can't. I don't think that I could do this. It would hurt not to see each other daily."

"How about just doing long distance until we figure out something else. I know we said we wouldn't talk about our hometown but maybe we do live closer to each other than we think. I just don't want this to be over like this, idiota." Raphael sighed. He was holding onto threads but Simon didn't seem to want the same thing.

"I don't want to lose you either but I can't be with you. At least not at home." he said all of a sudden, pulling away completely. He sat up, making Raphael frown.

"What do you mean?" he asked him, confused.

"I am not... you know?" Simon tried to evade the question, gaining a frustrated groan as answer. "No, I don't know if you don't tell me." Raphael pointed out, wanting to know the reason for all of this.

"I am not gay.", Simon exclaimed.   
Raphael resisted the urge to roll his eyes and nodded, "So you aren't out yet, alright. We could keep it a secret until you are comfortable enough to tell people, I'm fine with that."

Simon shook his head, "You don't understand. it's not that, well not fully at least. I am really not gay, okay? You are the only one, the only man I've ever liked like this, it's weird, I just.. I don't know anymore. Sure, I thought that some men were attractive yes, but that isn't the same, right? There wasn't anything like this before. Never. You make me feel things and I am terrified of it."  
Raphael sighed, deciding not to explain the prospect of sexuality to Simon. He didn't understand how being attracted to men didn't change Simon's sexuality.  
"Baby, like I said no one needs to know if you aren't comfortable with it. Being attracted to men isn't anything bad, okay?"  
"Listen, I am not gay, bi or whatever you wanna call it. I am straight, hetero. I just can't be. I like you. I do. I will miss you, you can't even imagine how much, but I do like girls. In fact there is a girl that I like."

Jealousy surged through Raphael's body though the hurt he felt was far stronger than that, "Can't imagine? Oh, believe me I can. Better than you may think." he frowned, feeling anger bubbling to the surface. Why would Simon say something like that?

"I was just another holiday fling for you, once you are home you will forget me. Just like I hopefully can forget you." the younger man supposed, combing his long fingers through his dark curls.

"That is not the truth, Simon Lewis. And you know it." Raphael had to hold himself from shouting, his hands shaking. What was happening here?

Simon huffed, "Oh, please, what would someone like you, want from me?" he mumbled, turning his head so he wouldn't have to face him.

"Someone like me? I'm just a person like everybody else and who I like isn't something I get to actually choose. Besides didn't you notice how many people flirted with you during the last days?" the Mexican tried to reason with him, though with no success.

"Maybe they wanted to make you jealous?" Simon guessed, just wanting the conversation to end.  
"Well, it worked but not in their favor."  
Raphael moved above him, leaning down to kiss him with all the passion he had.  
Between kisses, he whispered against his lips  
"Now, tell me do you really feel nothing?”, he recaptured his lips once more, cupping his cheek only to pull away a few seconds later. “Now dare to tell me again, that I feel nothing?" he took one of Simon's hands and after planting a soft kiss to the palm, he pressed it over his racing heart. 

Not able to argue against that, Simon simply shook his head. “Raphael, I can't, please." 

Raphael didn't understand this, didn't understand him. “Why can't we continue this? Simon, you've told me that you need me and I need you too."

"You had me, Raphael. Please, that was all I could give you. You were my first. Please, don't let us spend this last day with arguments. It will be the last one." 

Raphael knew that he needed to accept Simon's decision. He wouldn't force him to do this if he didn't want to. He wasn't a monster. “Please think about it.", he tried as last resort, just hoping that through a miracle, the man would change his mind.  
"Accept my decision, Raphael. Just let us enjoy the last day. It's time for breakfast by now, we should go before everyone else arrives and the best pieces are already gone."

"Yeah, you are right. I'll just take a shower beforehand. " Raphael said and kissed Simon's nose before he stood up. “You're more than welcome to join me.”, he winked, smirking.

Simon couldn't help but stare as a naked Raphael made his way to the bathroom.   
Quickly, he debated if he should follow him or not.   
He did, of course. 

Almost a hour later they finally sat at the breakfast table. Their conversation flowed easily, both falling into the intimacy they've built themselves during their stay. They were able to talk about almost anything without it being embarrassing in the end.  
Far too quickly, it was time to go back into their room. They still needed to pack their things.   
Raphael knew that there wasn't enough time to actually try and convince his lover not to end this. He had to give up, no matter how much it hurt him.  
As he realized this, he held onto Simon's shirt, pulling him into a heated kiss, trying to memorize the way he tasted. He wanted to hold him until they needed to leave though did let him go after a few minutes, trying to catch his breath.  
Simon's eyes were glazed over as he smiled at the Mexican, who simply returned the gesture, ignoring the pulling sensation he felt in his chest.

When they finished up it was time for Raphael to leave. Together they carried his luggage into the lobby, standing in front of each other.  
Simon pulled him into an embrace, his eyes falling shut as he failed to hold back his tears.  
"Did you change your mind?" Raphael whispered into Simon's ear as they held each other tightly, his fingers clenching into the male's shirt. He didn't want to let go.

"Right now, I wish I did, I wish I could." Simon was sobbing into his lover's shoulder, forcing himself to pull away.

"So you didn't." Raphael concluded, closing his eyes. He wouldn't allow himself to cry, he just wouldn't. When he opened them once more, Simon was looking right back at him, tears running over his face as he shook his head. "I am sorry."

“Don't be.”, Raphael whispered, reaching up to wipe away his tears, “It was wonderful while it lasted. I won't ever forget, I promise."  
"Me either." Simon mumbled, pulling Raphael back into his arms. He wanted to stay with him until his taxi came, savoring every second they had together.

"Maybe we'll see each other again, cariño, who knows."

"Please, shut up and kiss me."

As their lips met for the last time, they laid all their feelings into it, all the love and passion they've felt, the sorrow, even the pain. It was special, soft and tender.  
Hearing the taxi arrive, they pulled away and now Raphael couldn't deny the tears that were staining his cheeks. He couldn't hold them in anymore.

"Adios, baby..." he whispered as he walked to the car, not daring to look back or he might not have the strength to leave anymore.   
With every step Raphael took away from him, Simon began doubting his decision to let him leave a bit more though by now, it was too late. This is what he had chosen. This is how things would be.  
“I love you, Raph..” he whispered into the wind, long after the man had left, leaving both their hearts in shreds.


	6. Surprises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon's first week back home starts off with many surprises. He has missed quite a lot while he was away.

Simon let out a deep breath when the plane reached the ground once more. It had been a quiet flight without any complications.  
He was back home and everything would go back to how it was now, back to as normal as it could get after this vacation.  
After he fell in love, he knew that know, not that he would ever truly admit it. 

During the flight he had tried to watch something on the board entertainment to stop thinking of Raphael, of his gorgeous eyes, his soft voice and even softer lips.  
He didn't manage though and even sleep wouldn't allow him a way out. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw him, imagined his touch, the way his arms would wrap around him whenever he seemed down. With a fond smile on his lips, he remembered how the embrace always was followed by a teasing comment that would easily bring the smile back to Simon's lips, no matter how sarcastic it was.  
Raphael's face as they finally said goodbye was haunting him whenever he actually was able to fall asleep, which wasn't too often, so he resulted in talking to a middle-aged woman who was sitting next to him.  
She was nice but after awhile she kept asking questions about his vacation in an attempt of small talk.  
The last weeks weren't something that Simon wanted to remember though. He just wanted to forget them, never think of them again.  
It hurt every time his mind wandered to Raphael and his stupidly attractive self.  
At the same instant, he knew that his vacation with the Latino, the way they fit together so nicely, was special and that he should cherish it forever. He also knew that it was exactly what he would do. Raphael would stay in his dreams for a long while, he'd probably never even leave in the first case.

"Thank you for flying with us. Take all of your things with you. Have a nice day."  
Simon stood up and adjusted his backpack, before retrieving a large shopping bag for the lady next to him from the overhead-bin.  
He left the airplane and made his way over to the baggage claim, where Clary would be waiting for him.   
Clary Fray, the girl he has had a crush on since childhood. Simon hoped that the second he would see her his feelings for her would bubble to the surface so that he could forget about Raphael.  
He knew that, especially since she met that Lightwood boy, the probability of Clary ever liking him back was near to nonexistent though it still was better than not knowing where your significant other was or if you'd ever see them again.  
Simon tried to think of all the things he loved about Clary, like how her hair shone in the sun,like small rays of sunshine, her beautiful smile or how her eyes lit up whenever she started talking about something passionately, like her art that held beauty not to compare.  
He couldn't wait to see her, for sure but he also realized that the familiar tingling he usually got whenever he was about to meet up with her, wasn't present. 

Looking around in the area of the baggage claim, Simon's eyes soon caught a glimpse of hair, red like a flame. He waved at his best friend, a grin on his lips as he saw the huge sign, which the tiny girl was holding up:  
"Welcome home, Simon!” it said with multiple drawings of him and their friends all over it, making his heart light up with joy.  
He was glad to see her and ran towards the young woman, not even trying to resist the urge he had to pick her up and twirl her around. Her laugh was bliss to his ears though that wasn't what Simon dwelt on. Usually, he would by now have a small urge to kiss her though there was none of it at the moment. It was as if his body turned off all romantic emotions he had towards Clary which was more than weird.  
Since he was twelve, all Simon had ever dreamed of was to kiss her, the dream sticking around through all the years, well, until today.  
Now the only lips he longed for were Raphael's, whom he needs to forget.

After setting her back down, he buried his face in the crook of her neck, a soft grin spread across his features, "I missed you, Clary." Her laughter rang through the whole airport " I missed you too. You need to tell me everything about your vacation. I can't wait to know every detail, so does Izzy by the way. She's absolutely convinced that you had at least one summer affair because that apparently is mandatory.” she shook her head while Simon tried his best not to look guilty. When she continued to talk, he simply nodded “We also had quite the interesting summer so far by the way, I'll tell you all about it after I got all your stories."   
Nodding, Simon picked up his backpack that he had thrown aside to twirl his best friend around; "But first I need my luggage. Maybe we could grab lunch after? Airplane food is just terrible."   
Clary eagerly pointed into the direction of the entrance to the airport.  
"Sounds amazing, there is this place that opened like a week ago and I really wanna check it out. It seemed really good." 

A bit later then, they sat down on opposite sides of the table in the same restaurant that Clary had talked about, ordering their food.   
Simon moved in his seat nervously, hoping Clary wouldn't ask too many questions about his vacation. To distract her, he tried to stir the conversation in a different direction so she would be the one talking:„ So what has happened while I was gone?" he asked,adjusting his glasses.   
"Oh, just this and that." Clary teased to which Simon shook his head.  
"Could you stop being so cryptic or I'll just get the next plane back there." Simon shot back, not really in the mood to play games, though to make sure his best friend wouldn't notice, he stuck out his tongue at her.  
"Okay,okay, well let me see... Luke and my mom went to another date, which they of course just called friends hanging out.” she rolled her eyes, “Saying it like that is just absurd, isn't it? They say it as if they'd be hanging out like we are right now, I mean please who are they kidding?" the redhead laughed and Simon was a bit surprised, knowing that before his vacation he would have been embarrassed, nervous and disappointed due to that statement but now he could laugh freely. "That's it? I had hoped for some more gossip." he teased while grinning. Anything to keep the subject away from his vacation. 

"Well, the actual big news are that Alec finally came out to his family. Well, Jace and Izzy knew already of course but well, his parents didn't exactly seem happy about it.” she frowned for a second before smiling once more. “Everyone else is just really happy for him. We're all so proud of Alec. He is just much more happy and relaxed now. His dad is slowly coming around to it too it's just Maryse who's really not okay with it, but who cares about the opinion of that old hag."   
Simon did not know how to feel. Naturally he also was glad and proud of Alec, for him to have the courage and pride to finally go this huge step. He couldn't help the spark of jealousy that he felt though, knowing that Alec was so much more comfortable with who he was than he himself was at the moment. He didn't really know how to express himself and it annoyed him beyond anything really.  
"Si, are you okay?" Clary's soft voice threw him out of his thoughts as she carefully placed her small hand onto his forearm.  
"Yeah, of course, I'm just tired from the flight. I am really happy for Alec. It's nice that he finally got the nerves to come out completely."   
Clary nodded, unsure if she should believe him though buying it for now. He did seem exhausted.  
“Alec also has a suitor.” she then grinned, “I met a childhood friend last week. His name is Magnus and he basically went breathless when he saw Alec. The poor boy didn't even know what hit him to be honest. Mags is quite a thing for most people to take in. He's really flirty and quite flamboyant with all his glitter and style.” she laughed, causing Simon to raise an eyebrow.   
“Well I definitely can't wait to meet him then.” he smiled at her, honestly curious about this Magnus person that wore glitter and charmed Alec Lightwood, who could win an award for the most repressed person around.  
Clary grinned in response, "Then I've got good news for you. We are going to hang out with Magnus and a few of his friends at the Jade Wolf in a week. Getting to know them better, you know? We don't actually know that much about them all either." she laughed.  
Simon nodded,"That sounds great. It's enough time for my jet-lag to go away.", he smiled at his best friend who was smirking now. Simon knew that now there wouldn't be any way to escape the dreaded conversation anymore.  
"Now how was your vacation, Simon? Could you relax ? Did you met someone, I mean was Izzy right? What was the hotel like and what about the food? Did the flight go smoothly?", she bombarded him with questions which Simon tried to use to his advantage.  
"That are far too many things to answer, Clary. Do I look like some information point?", he asked teasingly, shaking his head.  
"Well, do I look like a best friend?" the artist shot back, just wanting to know what happened. She was a naturally curious girl.  
"Okay, okay..." Simon finally said, knowing that he was defeated and held his hands up, not really keen on reliving the time and certainly not mentioning Raphael.  
"Both flights went smoothly, but the airplane food sucked and there was far too less space. The hotel was a really beautiful one and the food was honestly so good. The vacation in general was great, I actually really want to go back." he mumbled in the end, of course not letting her know what the true reason for those feelings was.  
"We'll have our next vacation soon enough, it will come, Simon. Do not have the holiday blues." she tried to cheer him up, not knowing why Simon would be this upset about a holiday trip ending.

"You are right.", the male tried to smile "You know, maybe next time we can go together just like when we were kids?"  
"That sounds good, Si, lets do that." Clary answered before she delved into a huge monologue about different places that they could go to, vacation trips she had made with her mother and of course Luke, who definitely only ever came with them as a friend, yeah right.  
Soon then they paid, so that Simon could have his quite needed rest, the two friends saying goodbye with a tight embrace before parting ways.

 

One week later and Simon was sitting in the Jade Wolf, hoping that meeting Magnus and his friends would keep his thoughts from Raphael since literally nothing had worked. Even after a whole week, his thoughts would almost constantly stroll back to the gorgeous man with the Spanish accent. Being brokenhearted was far worse than everyone made it out to be and now he had to pay the price for being selfish and not wanting to deal with people knowing about him, not to mention that he himself was far too unsure of himself and what having fallen for Raphael, a man, meant for him.  
He didn't even really listen to Izzy who was sitting next to him, talking about fashion week and how Magnus as an upcoming designer might work for that at some point or something like that.  
"Well, their whole clique actually has a really great sense of style. I mean, I know that I'm good at coordinating my outfits but they really are even a step further though Magnus actually said that he'd become my personal stylist if I helped him with Alec.” she winked at her brother who rolled his eyes though they all could see how his cheeks reddened quite the bit.  
Isabelle turned back to Simon with a grin, “I think you'll get along well with them. Ragnor is a bit like Alec, quite grumpy but actually really caring and Raphael.. Well, I don't know if Raphael would like you with your blabbering nature." she laughed “But you usually seem to win everyone over at some point or another.” she shrugged.  
Simon's eyes widened. Did she just say Raphael? It couldn't be his Raphael though, tight? There must be thousand of Raphael's all over the US, right? It wasn't exactly an unusual name.  
His mind though automatically spurred different stories and in all of them, Raphael wasn't just some stranger. What should he do if it was his Raphael though? He wasn't out to anyone, not that he was gay. He liked girls, he always had...  
Simon shook his head. This wasn't right. He needed to get a grip. It will be just some random young man walking in the restaurant. The chances of this actually being the same Raphael as the one he had met was abnormally small and while he craved to see the Latino again, he didn't know if he wanted or should.  
Suddenly the doorbell chimed, ripping him from his inner tumult when the door opened and a man in a stylish looking shirt with tight pants walked inside, seemingly shedding a trace of glitter behind him. He was immensely handsome, that Simon could see. He also saw how his gaze immediately went to Alec who smiled back at him shyly, giving a small wave. Magnus was exactly as Simon had imagined him, his smile wide as he waved back at Alec. “Good morning, Alexander.” he said, voice melodic and flirtatious as he sat down next to the tall man.  
Behind him, followed by a man Simon did not know, who was tall, his expression bored. He would fit Izzy's description of Ragnor but it always could also be-   
"Dios mio, Bane, what is this place?" a far too familiar voice interrupted his thought.  
His head shot up, looking at the door where the most gorgeous man stood that he had ever seen, only that unlike in all the fairytales, they already had met, quite intimately even.  
This was Raphael who stood there. His Raphael. Simon's didn't know what to do anymore, his heart racing, his head spinning.  
Raphael was here, in this room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you guys say? Interesting, huh? Now, what do you think they'll react like?   
> We won't tell you but we hope that you guys enjoyed it anyways, thanks for reading it!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our two favourites meet yet again and from now on, Magnus will be there, trying to gain Alec's love too, have fun :D

Everything changed, the second in which Raphael entered the room.  
It became difficult for Simon to breathe and the space in which he sat, seemed to be shrinking impossibly fast, while Simon was trying to regain control over his body.   
There was nothing he could do to hide from Raphael, especially since, by now, he most likely has seen him already.  
'What should he do now? Should he try to talk to him?' Simon's thoughts were all over the place while he tried to figure out if he was supposed to act as if they knew each other.  
He could always just act as if they never met, as if they were complete strangers.  
It most definitely would be making the situation easier to handle for him since their friends did believe it to be the truth.  
Simon felt his heart clench at the thought of just throwing those weeks he had with the older man into the wind even if it might be the only thing he could do to keep things as they were.

He sighed, biting his bottom lip with a frown on his face.  
Hadn't he hurt Raphael enough with his refusal of staying in contact?  
At the time he hadn't seen another possibility. He needed to refuse his advances or everything would have changed. He hadn't known how the people he loved would react to a relationship between two men. Now, he did. He could see how adored Alec and Magnus as an upcoming couple were, how proud everyone was of the oldest Lightwood. That didn't mean every problem was solved though. His family for example didn't know anything about it either and while his mother and him didn't belong to the orthodox part of Judaism, which is why he didn't freak out at the mere concept of premarital sex, homosexuality simply wasn't anything that they spoke of at home. It generally was ignored.

Simon didn't want to lead Raphael on but the only relationship he would be able to have with him at the moment would be a secret one. He wasn't comfortable with anything else but at the same time, he really didn't want to put this wonderful man through such a thing.  
At some point the lies would come crashing down on them, they always did.

Simon couldn't admit that they knew each other. It would lead to far too many questions from everyone. He wouldn't be able to handle it. Closing his eyes for a second, he tried to see the situation clearly, wanting to finally reach a decision.

He remembered the beautiful evenings he had with Raphael. Not just the intimacy but also the dancing, the shared laughter.  
Simon really liked having all of that with someone. He also really liked Raphael for sure.   
He didn't know when he started to admit it to himself but the Latino had grown on him.  
These past few days without him had been heart wrenching, almost impossibly hard.  
Meeting Raphael had caused many revelations in him, the most important one obviously being that he wasn't as heterosexual as he had thought he was.  
He was slowly coming around to fully realizing that he enjoyed kissing another man, that he enjoyed being with men romantically. It was as if someone had pulled a switch and things were finally starting to making sense.  
Simon needed time though, far more time than doing the right decision would give him.

He had made up his mind. This would hurt, but it was necessary. He wouldn't be able to this.

Seeing that the three new arrivals were sitting already, he took a deep breath and put on a giant, radiant smile, trying to sound as excited as he possibly could: "Nice to meet you, guys. I'm Simon. Simon Lewis." he introduced himself, “Since you don't know me, I mean, well, I don't know you either but Izzy told me your names,yeah.” he mumbled, before looking at Magnus “You're Alec's love interest, right? You know, because you're really obvious but I guess that's the plan?” he asked with a short chuckle.   
Magnus raised an eyebrow “Love interest? You make it sound as if I'm a Disney prince, Shawn” he said with a strange twinkle in his eyes before he turned to face Alec “Not that I would mind sweeping you off your feet, Alexander.” he winked at the tall man who was by now sporting a shy smile and slightly reddened cheeks.  
Simon couldn't help but smile, choosing to ignore the uncomfortable name change.  
Instead he looked over to the actual problem, choosing to address it normally though: “Who of you is who then?” he asked, basically looking at the space between them so he wouldn't accidentally make eye contact with the one person he really wanted to see.

“He is Ragnor, I'm Raphael." the harshness in the once so familiar voice almost caused him to flinch. He needed to cut this out, after all, he had made his choice now. There was no turning back, no matter how much he felt like crying.  
He never thought that he might have to hear Raphael talking to him like this.

Simon tried not to look at Raphael just as often as he tried looking away from him, never looking into those gorgeous eyes, scared of the expressions which they would convey.  
Instead he forced himself to focus on everyone else who began introducing themselves.  
Magnus really seemed to be a nice person who fit in perfectly with their little group.  
Simon could easily admit that the flamboyant man and the stoic Alec would make an interesting couple. There was an air of joy coming from them and he has never seen Alec smiling this many times in one day, in one hour even. He usually was less obvious about his emotions. This was a welcome change for everyone. They all were immensely happy for him with Izzy looking more proud of him than anyone else, closely followed by Jace who shot Alec suggestive eyebrow wiggles and winks whenever Magnus wasn't watching.

Simon knew he shouldn't feel like this because everything so far had been his choice after all, but he could feel jealousy cursing through him. He wanted to have what they had, wanted it with Raphael, if he was entirely honest.

As he once more glanced over to the gorgeous man who had been sitting in his chair without saying much, he was caught by him. For the first time in weeks their gazes met.  
Quietly, Simon winced at the turmoil of feelings which he saw in those beautiful dark orbs. 

Pain. There was a lot of pain and disappointment. Disappointment in him, he knew that.

Simon took a large sip of his water before lightly tapping Isabelle's shoulder, excusing himself to the toilet so they wouldn't be confused as to where he went.  
He was feeling nauseous all of a sudden and really needed a few seconds to himself or he would do something stupid like starting to cry. He couldn't stay there much longer.

Simon splashed his face with water to clear his mind and to pull himself together.  
Maybe he could tell his friends that his mother had called and needed him home for some family emergency. Really anything, which would give him an excuse to leave the café.  
He needed to get away.

Of course he had wanted to see Raphael again but not like this. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. They should have met up at some other distant destination, far away from his home.

The universe must hate him, he was sure of it by now, especially since he heard someone opening the door of the rest room, stepping up behind him.

“So that's it? We see each other again and now we'll pretend we don't known each other? What kind of game are you playing with me, Simon, because I really don't want a part in whatever this charade is.”Raphael frowned, looking at Simon through the mirror, “Hablas conmigo, por favor, Simon..” he mumbled, reaching for his hand.  
The younger allowed a fleeting brush of their fingers before he pulled his hand away, shaking his head.  
“I can't do this, Raphael. I wish I could, I just.. I'm not ready for this yet. Look, I'm not out to anyone, homosexuality isn't exactly a huge subject with many Jews, especially the orthodox ones. My Bubbe, sorry, my grandmother, she belongs to the orthodox part, my mother doesn't but still, we don't.. We never talk about that kind of thing.” he shrugged, though deep down he knew that neither his mother, nor his grandmother would really have a problem with any of this. They wanted him to be happy.  
The truth was that Simon himself still wasn't ready for such a relationship, wasn't ready to accept himself yet but he didn't really see that, trying to find the fault in other people as mankind tended to.  
Raphael sighed and took a step back, nodding: “Look, I just want to know if there's a possibility that you might work it out, or if this is it. Do I still have a chance or not?” he asked him.

Simon took a deep breath. He could do this. He just needed to tell him that there wasn't a way, that what they had was over now. His lips parted to speak the words but they never came.  
He didn't want this to end, never wanted to. Instead of flat out denying it, he smiled faintly.  
“Not now, no. Right now there is no way of doing this. I don't feel ready to be with anyone.” he mumbled, looking down before turning to face Raphael properly, “Maybe in a while? I cant promise anything though.. Feel free to move on, sí?” he asked him quietly, “Lo siento..” he then mumbled, “For acting as if I don't know you.”, he shook his head, taking a step towards him. He was scared of what Raphael would say now, which is why he tried moving with his original plan.

“I'll leave now. I really don't feel like sitting here anymore.”, he explained to Raphael, walking past him, to the door. Before he could reach it though, Raphael caught his wrist., “I won't just give up on you, Simon..” he said softly. There was it again, the warmth which Simon had craved. He smiled, wanting to shake the though away, when the taller man spoke up once more. “I'm still glad that you're here.” he said, pressing a soft kiss to Simon's cheek. “Adiós.”  
The student's eyes trailed over his face for a second before he left the rest room, his lips parted, cheeks burning red. A goofy smile took over his face though he quickly wiped it off, deciding that maybe, just maybe, staying a bit longer wouldn't be a problem.  
He sat back down on his chair, giving his friends a small smile before taking another sip of water, his mouth dry from all the talking and stressing out.  
“Are you okay?” Clary asked him with a curious gaze, worry etched into it. Simon simply nodded, “Yeah, just felt a little dizzy for a second, I'm fine now.” he smiled, glad that it technically wasn't even that much of a lie.  
He continued listening in on the conversations which were happening, watching how Magnus made them all laugh with small comments and some light teasing.  
Yes, he'll definitely fit in with them.   
As for Ragnor and Raphael...  
Simon hoped they would fit in as well. His eyes lingered on the latter as he made his way back to his seat, having actually waited a bit to return so that it wouldn't seem suspicious.  
What he didn't realize, was that Isabelle as well as Magnus shot each other knowing gazes, having seen the dynamic between them.   
They would intervene, that was clear, but for now, everyone had their peace as they spent the remainder of the day laughing together, exchanging stories and memories.  
It was good to be back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there guys, I'm so sorry, this literally took ages but we both have recently started a new path in life (aka I have work all day and my friend goes to college) so updates will be rather slow. That doesn't mean that anything will be put on ice though, I promise! We're still working on all of our stuff as well as some new One-Shots so there will be lots of things which you can look forward to!
> 
> ALSO: Shadowhunters Season 2 is on *-* If anyone wants to talk about the new episodes (or also the old ones) or exchange headcanons/meta, you guys can always message me! The same goes for requests/prompts~


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